Spring 2008

Love in the Time of Alzheimer's

This is a difficult story to tell.

"Francis" and "Cora Lee" had an intense love for each other, almost to the exclusion of the outside world. They had no children and spent their time travelling the globe. But by their nineties -- reflecting statistics showing a 50% prevalence of dementia in persons over 85 -- Cora Lee had developed Alzheimer's disease. Francis had not.

She became more than he could care for, and for most elders, that would be the point at which they parted ways, with her moving to a skilled nursing facility. But they remained inseparable, moving into Gaffney House, where they shared a bed in a large room on the second floor. With Francis' independence in mind, we simply charged him a devotion rate (room and board).

He spent his days caring for her, and in the beginning they would still go out together: bird watching, shopping, walking around the neighborhood. But she continued to decline to the point where she could no longer tolerate the outings and was struggling with other health problems. Francis was still physically strong and mentally vital while Cora Lee needed almost constant care. We had to insist on letting our staff help take care of her, which he allowed; still, he rarely left her side.

One day I was in a meeting when I received a call on my cell phone from Steve, the manager of Gaffney House. He was noticeably upset as he told me that one of the staff had walked into Francis and Cora Lee's room to find Francis trying to kill himself. . . .

Read the Conclusion of Nora's Corner Spring 2008

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Fall 2007 Making the Invisible Visible

April 2007 The Last Time I Saw Mary

April 2006 The Constancy of Sports in our Lives

November 2005 Scenes from the Middle of the Night at Gaffney House

December 2004 I can't tell you how much I love living...where?